Mrs Lee the candy snatcher
One day the candy snatcher, Mrs Lee went to the shop at night to steal a few lollies heaps of delicious lollies. she wore dark clothing so no one would suspect anything. she stole 10 lollipops, 9 chocolate frogs, 8 lemon and lime fruit bursts and 12 of her favourite candies…. raspberry twists. When the shop employee, Tweeny went to the shop she found out it was ROBBED. He called the police and they made a fingerprint check test. They went to the computer to search the owner of the fingerprint, they found out it was Mrs Lee. they immediately went to arrest Mrs Lee. Mrs Lee asked them if she could have one more chance, they said yes. Every time Mrs Lee wanted some candies she would buy them.
Hey Tweeny,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story! The story line is interesting and it made me laugh! I like the fact that they gave her another chance. How did she carry all of those lollies?
Thanks for the compliment, Miss Morgan. i appreciate your excitement. she carried it all in big bag
DeleteBonjour Tweeny, I really like your story of how Mrs Lee stole lollies and got caught, but she was given another chance. This story reminds me of when we had KFC and my brother had a big bowl of chips and when he looked away I took a bunch of them but I didn’t get caught. Something that I think you should remember is to put a capital letter after each full stop because that is something you didn’t do at all. Will there be a part 2 of this story Tweeny??
ReplyDeleteHi Tweeny, i really liked how you wrote about Mrs Lee the candy snatcher.I really liked how the story was short and how it made sense too. Your story was really interesting but I think you should work on adding more detail to your story. Is this story true about Mrs Lee the candy snatcher?
ReplyDeleteHi Tweeny, my name is Alex and I am a year 6 student from St. Bernadette's School. Wow! This is an amazing story. I like this story because it's creative, funny and interesting! You're really good at making stories. Next time maybe could look back and try to fix some mistakes. For example : Put capital letters for candy snatcher in your title. It should look like this. Mrs Lee the Candy Snatcher. I look forward to seeing more wonderful work from you Tweeny.
ReplyDeleteHi Tweeny! It is your sister Telesia!
ReplyDeleteI like that you said what kind of lollies she stole and how many she stole! I also liked that you made your story more interesting by putting ... before saying what her favourite lollies were. Next time, try to go back and fix your punctuation e.g Use capitals after every full stop.
I am looking forward to seeing more work from you!
Hi Tweeny it's Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI think that your story was really funny. The description of what Mrs Lee was wearing was awesome! Maybe next time you could take those lines out when you are writing your story or was that a mistake? Anyway it was really descriptive. I look forward to seeing more work from you, bye.
Hi Tweeny it's Antonette from Room 8. I think that your story is very interesting and I like how you made your story title eye catching. Maybe next time you could look back to your work and look if you capitalised the first word of your sentence. I really like your story
ReplyDeleteand I can't wait to see more work from you Tweeny.